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Dialogue with heart in the coaching circle

Nguyen Than Thuy Linh

· relieved,respected,mindful

“When I have been truly searching for my treasure, everyday has been luminous, because I’ve known that every hour was a part of the dream that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I’ve discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve.”

-The Alchemist-

 

10h 15 pm, back home from a hectic day, I told Hai Yen, I hope I could have and enjoy this busy pace every single day in Vietnam in next several months. The feeling of being busy is so fantastic and fulfilling so long as I have not got family yet. Especially being busy at doing the work that I am truly passionate about gives me such strong motivation and joy of life. I am scared of having nothing to do, I hate spending hours just sleeping and gossiping, equaling the fear of wasting time. I make use of every single minute in the place I am not sure where I am gonna be in the future but can constantly learn and grow through daily exposure to a holistic culture called “6C”.

 

My constant happiness and growth are the huge incentive and stimuli for me to contribute all of my energy and spirit to complete the tasks though I have no expertise and qualifications and cannot measure the outcomes of my effort. At least, I am truly dedicated to the work at School of Gumption and have never regretted not trying hard enough. This is like the essence of learning is the process of learning rather than the end-products of learning which can barely manifest the values or quality of human. Learning takes place everywhere, anytime, from anyone and anything. How come learning is limited to the space of classrooms and schools? Ever since reading The Alchemist, I know the power of observation that activates the cultivation of Calm, Curiosity and Compassion in my life. Just simply looking at a street vendor, I can sense the uncertain feelings inside her eyes, probably the worry of an unstable life in this ever-changing era, etc. Therefore, the intentional learning process can happen even when there is no intentional teaching.

 

Today, I got a special chance to experience the Circle of Coaching, held by SOG core team members. I used to be couched through 4 months but the process was applied for 10 people to build my community project, meaning I got just a little time to be coached personally back then. Thus this time exposed me to a mindful moment that has been a long time away from my spiritual life. In spite of joining some meditation sections recently, I still could not keep my head stop a bunch of thoughts coming and moving around until this amazing afternoon.

 

The Circle gets the person to point out a problem that might linger in their mind or get one’s life stuck and by the end of the session, he/she can come up with the solution or some certain direction to cope with the problem by oneself. Initially, I thought I did not have any serious issue to worry about, the thought suddenly transformed into a status of nervousness and anxiety as I realized I was in trouble with my relationship. I could not explain why my heart started beating so fast by the time of the coaching began. Then we all got 5 minutes of mediation that totally calm myself down and turn my whole mind back to the inner space. Following Hai Yen’s voice, I was aware of my body’s senses, I called my mind to feel the physical body, I let my thoughts pop up without trying to eliminate them. It was the moment that immediately my mind became extraordinarily peaceful and calm after accepting anything happening.

 

I took a role called “the case giver”. I first raised my problem with the observation and listening of the coaches till there was nothing to add on from my side. Next, each coach took turn to share what they saw and felt as stepping into my case to clarify and visualize the problem, if there is not yet any response, the coach can be silent. This round repeated around 3 more times to dig deeper into the problem from different perspectives and particularly described under different imaginative metaphors. These rounds reminds me of 2 stages in Design thinking when the prototype of the solution is supposed to be tested and built until the solution reaches the best potential. The Circle finished by a fruitful debrief of mine and others’ because surprisingly everyone found part of themselves in my story. The fact is that we are all human who grow together through the passage of time. We might be different in terms of age, yet we all go through certain periods of time that make us stuck and grow into more mature and resilient beings.

 

Eventually, I felt this coaching session is more or less a generative dialogue in which each person needs to acknowledge that what they thinks or feels is their personal perspective and represents their point of view. Then the dialogue ends up several great learning points among one another through mutual thoughts exchange and empathetic feedback.

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Keep my problem’s story personal.

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At the end of the day, I feel honestly grateful, respected, relieved and hopeful after the entire 90-minute-session where I could dialogue with not only my coaches but also my heart. I realized each person has their own values that might not match mine, therefore, try to suspend our judgments and let “it” be…

 

There is one interesting question triggered “Should I look for a bird that can fly with me or should I look for a safe place to relax in case of hardship?” Liu Yan said, there are so many birds out there that can be found anytime but it’s not easy to find out a safe place to turn to in the rest of our life…

 

#generativedialogue

#respectedcoaches

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